Pre-Boarding

The Pope, Lassie & Martha Stewart

Good morning ladies and gentlemen
Flight 1127 from Phoenix with service
C0ntinuing on to Oakland
Will be arriving in about 5 minutes

You’ll notice there are two
Rectangular signs hanging from the ceiling
The one on the left is for pre-boarding passengers
These would include anyone
With a medical condition
People traveling with small children

Veterans, former talk show hosts
Anyone nursing a particularly severe hangover
People who own cell phones
And are in kind of a hurry
Relatives of anyone
In the motion picture industry


People who have recently remodeled their homes
Owners of any car costing more than $80,000
Friends of the woman
The pilot used to date in college
Anyone who has seen at least three episodes
Of the old TV series Sky King
People with demonstrably superior genes


The Pope, Lassie and Martha Stewart

Everyone else please
board to the right.
Thank you for choosing
Southwest Airlines
And have a pleasant flight

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